Always Chris

Do The Job Properly Will You?

This article is about eggs. Thus, if you find the idea of chicken-spawn repulsive, nightmarish, or altogether distasteful, then leave at once, before it’s too late!

There, now we can begin. And I shall do so like this:

Contrary to popular belief, there really is only one way to cook a fried-egg, just as there is only one way to do leg vein treatment without making a right pig’s ear of it. It’s a good job you stumbled across this More

Bacon NEEDS Commitment

Bacon is best. It is the secret behind smiles up and down the land: those smiles which say I know a secret you can never know, and I am flipping well not telling!

King of fried: all hail the Bacon!

You can fry it in so many different ways–how many foods can you name which can be fried and compete with bacon?

I am certain that some of you will be shaking your heads now and saying things like “The More

End Point

When I was at school I didn’t understand why I was at school. When I finished school I didn’t ever want to hear the word school again; the word belonged with words like skin lesions and held captive. By the time school was a distant enough memory, I was ready to throw a brick at anyone who said “school is the time of your life!” Because let’s be honest, how many people can say that school really was the time More

Be Rocked!

Warning: I am about to rock you. No exaggeration! This warning is for good reason, for the topic I am about to bring up, analyze and dismantle (and hopefully convince you to come on board and agree with for the benefits of future generations) is one so deeply entrenched in the minds of society that the mere mention of it is capable of knocking a grown man from his chair. And here it is: what is the point in hard-back More

Don’t Be Frenchist!

People really give the French a hard time, and although garlic can be a nightmare in a confined space, and I am allergic to people who wear scarves while being absurdly intellectual and simultaneously charming, I have met a good few French people who were amazing, kind and gracious. Granted, there was one incident in a cinema with a French girl who kept hitting the back of my chair and saying things to me that I had no idea about, More

Baffled And Then Some

Many, many things have baffled me about living in Germany: such as why can’t Germans queue? And why is their entire system on paper and not on computer? There are great things about the country, of course, such as their awe-inspiring approach to recycling. But there is one thing that has and will forever puzzle me. Allow me to put this in the second person, so that you yourself can witness the strangeness first hand and thus draw a More

Feeling Homesick

It has been around seven months since I last slept in my bed in my apartment in Newcastle. It has also been around seven months since I last saw my family, or the friends I have had for many years now. When I first flew out here to Canada I had not given my parents a proper good-bye.

I had overslept the night previous to my departure and I was running late to catch a train that would take me More

Only Truth

From the age of four I was told repeatedly that wet hair would kill me. Yes, kill me. Not harm me, or hurt me, but kill me. “You’ll catch a death!” were the words that really struck fear into my small mind. Wet hair beat plane crashes, car crashes and farming accidents hands down according to my parents. This was what made me terrified of having wet hair at all conscious times. Because of all that I was the only More