Bacon NEEDS Commitment
Bacon is best. It is the secret behind smiles up and down the land: those smiles which say I know a secret you can never know, and I am flipping well not telling!
King of fried: all hail the Bacon!
You can fry it in so many different ways–how many foods can you name which can be fried and compete with bacon?
I am certain that some of you will be shaking your heads now and saying things like “The idiot! You can’t fry bacon in many different ways, what rubbish doth he spout?” or, for the less eighteenth-century concerned, “Innit! What the flip yo he be talkin’ abou’? There ain’t no bacon goin’ down in ma hood other than fried in one way!”
Wrong; and now time to be educated.
There are many ways to fry bacon and I am going to prove it. You can 1) Fry bacon until it’s just about cooked. It tastes OK, but it’s hardly the stuff of a bacon-lover’s wet dreams. 2) You can fry it until it starts to go crispy, then stop. The flavour is enhanced, yes, but you’re not at the pinnacle of bacon frying yet–oh no–3) You can really commit. This takes passion, nerves of steel, and the patience of the kind of saint who never considers giving up his job, even when he’s faced a day of murder and rape confessions and his wife has left him. Commitment is key, people. I simply can not repeat that enough. Commit and the bacon will become your friend. It will turn crispy, gorgeous, and altogether wonderful. It will give itself to you in ways you could never have dreamed, and bequeath a flavour so unfathomable that there is no word in the English language which can quite explain how good it tastes–
Exciting new item everyone, Wynne just got a job with a company that sells that really strange orange sun lounger cover, I expect free stuff! Seriously this time.